EUPHEMISM TRANSLATION
____________________________ _______________________________________
40ish 52 and looking for 25-year old
Affectionate Needy, and looking for mother figure
Aging child Self-centered adult
Ambitious Ruthlessly exploits people
Artist Unreliable
Athletic Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
Beautiful Pathological liar
Educated Will always treat you like an idiot
Employed Part-time job stuffing envelopes at home
Enjoy life's pleasures Overindulged, spoiled brat
Enjoy long walks Car is in the repair shop
Enjoy moonlit nights Can't pay the electric bill
Excited about life's journey No concept of reality
Financially secure Has $5 in the bank
Flexible Desperate
Free Spirit Substance abuser
Friendship first As long as friendship involves nudity
Fun Good with a remote and a six pack
Gentle Comatose
Good sense of humor Watches a lot of television
Intuitive Your opinion doesn't count
Irreverent Nasty and lacking basic social skills
Like to cuddle Insecure overly dependent
Moody Manic-depressive
Nontraditional Ex-wife lives in the basement
Old-fashioned Lights out, missionary position only
Openminded Desperate
Outgoing Loud
Passionate Loud
Physically fit Spends a lot of time in front of mirrors
Poet Boring manic-depressive
Professional Owns a white button-down
Reliable Shows up on time, give or take 3 hours
Self-employed Jobless
Soulful Quiet manic-depressive
Spiritual Involved with a cult
Spiritually evolved Oversensitive
Spontaneous Picks his nose at traffic lights
Spontaneous/Eclectic Scatterbrained
Stable Occasional stalker, but never arrested
Sultry/Sensual Easy
Swarthy Sweaty even when cold or standing still
Thoughtful Says "Please" when demanding a beer
Unaffected and earthy Slob and lacking basic social skills
Uninhibited Lacking basic social skills
Very human Quasimodo's best friend
Wants Soulmate One step away from stalking
Writer Once scribbled on a bathroom stall
Youthful Over 40, and trying to deny it
Courtesy of UNIX "Fortune Cookies" and Net folklore
